Before I Go: best friend's cancer battle inspires mother to publish book for the dying

A mother inspired by her best friend’s fight with cancer has published a book which dying owners can use to leave memories for their loved ones.

Verna Scott-Culkin, 47, came up with the idea after seeing her friend of 20 years, Bev O’Sullivan, worry about her children’s future while undergoing a double mastectomy.

She said: “I was there when Bev was going through chemo and had her hair taken off. She was thinking, ‘What if I don’t beat this? Who will know not to put an apple in my son’s lunch box? Who will know which clothes to buy my daughter?’”

Ms O’Sullivan, 49, is now in remission and lives in Australia. Ms Scott-Culkin, who meets up with her once a year, said: “Seeing her go through that just made me realise how important it is to have a book like this to scribble stuff down in. These small things we do, know and feel are what make us who we are.

“If things like ‘I want this song played at my funeral’ or ‘Go to my favourite fishing spot in years to come to think of me’ were all written in one place, it would bring comfort to people left behind.”

Chapters in the book, Before I Go, range from Favourite Songs to Wishes For Your Family. Ms Scott-Culkin created it with husband Giles, 48, a graphic designer. Its publication coincides with new movie Mum’s List, starring Emilia Fox and released on November 25. It is based on the true story of Kate Greene, 38, who died from breast cancer in 2010. During her last days Mrs Greene wrote down 100 instructions and ideas for her family to follow, trying to leave something of herself for her sons.

A book based on the list and her family’s experience sold more than 100,000 copies within two months of publication in 2012, following which a trend in bucket lists and books about coping with terminal illness emerged.

However, Ms Scott-Culkin, mother to daughter Tabby, 19, and son Murphy, 16, believes everyone, not just the terminally ill, should make a book of memories and dreams. She said: “People always tell me they think this all seems a bit morbid, but I think it isn’t because all the pages you fill in are full of love and memories and life.

“I want people to start writing in the book now, whatever age they are, and not wait until they get a bad diagnosis. I am filling one in for my kids, but I am keeping it private for now. I joke that they can have my secret chocolate fudge brownie recipe in the book when I die. But hopefully that won’t be for a long while.”

Before I Go is self-published and is available at Waterstones, Blackwells and on Amazon.