Girl gets guys in Burlesque

10 April 2012

Steven Antin’s new musical is about the power of fantasy, the triumph of moonlight and stardust over cold, hard facts. Which is somehow apt. The film wants us to believe that Christina Aguilera can act, that Cher is youngish and that the song-and-dance numbers bring Bob Fosse bang up to date.

Well, the Golden Globe voters are buying it: Burlesque has just been nominated for a Best Picture award. Alas, this review is brought to you from the real world.

From the minute poor orphan Ali (Aguilera) stumbles into a Sunset Boulevard club and decides to call it home, you know there’s a problem. Aguilera is a convincingly good singer (because she is a good singer, albeit one struggling to sell as many records as she did at the start of the decade) but she cannot convey small-town confusion. Or innocence. Or warmth.

What she can convey is petulance, vanity, boredom, dissatisfaction, even malice. Which is a teensy bit distracting.

Cher plays ballsy romantic Tess, the ex-singer/dancer who runs the debt-ridden "Burlesque Lounge". Now 64 years old, Cher is famous for her plastic-fantastic face and it’s actually plausible that her character might look like something from Night at the Museum.
What’s not plausible is that Tess is meant to be only slightly older than bitchy dancer Nikki (Kristen Bell, 30), who talks about being involved in The Burlesque Lounge "from the beginning", and going to Tess’s wedding. Unless you go along with the idea that Tess is in her forties, the maths just don’t add up.

Ali goes on to steal the limelight from Nikki, because she’s able to sing live, as opposed to lipsynching. However, the slick, pop-promo camerawork keeps us at arm’s length. The songs themselves are so-so (two of the least bad, E.X.P.R.E.S.S. and Show Me How You Burlesque, are virtually indistinguishable). Meanwhile, the big set pieces — which Aguilera performs with all the grace of a piston — rehash everything Madonna has ever done, right down to the Tamara de Lempicka-style artwork.

Take note of that 12A rating. Young girls shouldn’t be exposed to this kind of thing. They’ll grow up wanting to be ... unoriginal.

Thank goodness for the brilliant Stanley Tucci, recycling his role from The Devil Wears Prada but, this time, with added sex. As Sean, the club’s stage hand, Tucci flirts fizzily with Cher (we learn that the pair were one-time lovers and you can picture them drunkenly doing the deed). He also has a one-night stand with a cute guy and the seamy-sweet awkwardness that ensues is both funny and involving.

Indeed, all the best gags in Burlesque turn on the issue of homosexuality, promiscuity and/or gender-impersonation. It’s as if Antin meant to make a film about sluts and trannies, then realised that "New Burlesque" was a hot topic and that — with Xtina and Cher on board — audiences desperate for a guilty pleasure would dub it a camp classic no matter what. The cold, hard truth about Burlesque? It’s a cop-out.

Burlesque
Cert: 12A

Create a FREE account to continue reading

eros

Registration is a free and easy way to support our journalism.

Join our community where you can: comment on stories; sign up to newsletters; enter competitions and access content on our app.

Your email address

Must be at least 6 characters, include an upper and lower case character and a number

You must be at least 18 years old to create an account

* Required fields

Already have an account? SIGN IN

By clicking Create Account you confirm that your data has been entered correctly and you have read and agree to our Terms of use , Cookie policy and Privacy policy .

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged in