My London: Ralf Little

Chioma Nnadi10 April 2012
How long have you lived in London?

I moved down from Manchester two and a half years ago.

Where do you live and why?

I live in Shepherd's Bush with my mate, Pete, in this wicked house with a lovely garden.

If money were no object, where would you live?

If travelling were no object, Jamaica. I've been to Negril on the south side of the island and stayed in this place called The Caves that's built into the rocks.

What is your idea of a perfect Friday night?

I love spending time with my student mates - I go to King's College quite a lot. It sounds a bit crap, but it's good to be out with real people. It's also nice to go somewhere and not have to worry about what you're wearing.

Are you a member of any club?

I'm proud to say I'm not.

Do you have a local restaurant or pub?

The Queen Adelaide on Uxbridge Road. They do a pub quiz every Sunday.

What is the most beautiful London landmark?

I'm quite a big fan of the London Eye. I wouldn't say it was the most beautiful landmark, but it was definitely a success for the Millennium and captured people's imagination.

And the ugliest?

I don't think Buckingham Palace is particularly beautiful. As palaces go, it's pretty plain. It looks like a really posh boarding school.

What is your favourite view?

At the top of the London Eye, looking down the top of a girl in the pod below.

What was the last book you bought?

Terry Pratchett's The Truth. He's an absolute contemporary genius. His only fault is that he can't write books fast enough for me to read.

What was the last play you saw in London and did you enjoy it?

The People Are Friendly at the Royal Court. My friend - and the best actress I've ever worked with - Sheridan Smith, was in it. She was great.

What has been your most memorable night out?

I had a surprise party thrown for me by my ex [Lisa Rogers] on my last [22nd] birthday at the Met bar. Lisa took me for a meal at Nobu and then pretended to take me downstairs for a bit of a dance. All my friends and family came down from Manchester.

When and where did you last get drunk?

At the British Grand Prix, drinking champagne, vodka and beer. My housemate, who's a radio producer, blagged us tickets as guests of Jaguar. I barely watched the Grand Prix and spent most of the time trashed in a tent.

When did you last go to a nightclub?

I went to Propaganda [on Wardour Street] last Saturday. I had such a good time I left as it was getting light. I shan't be doing that again.

Where do you exercise?

I don't go to the gym, but I play so much football, it does the job. If I get my act together and I'm not working, I have games lined up seven days a week. My biggest fear is injuring myself and never being able to play again.

Which would you choose:

Hyde Park or Hampstead Heath? Hyde Park, because I play football there every week.

Selfridges or Harvey Nicks?

Neither. I don't do shopping, I hate it. In fact, I haven't bought any of my clothes in the past two years. Any time I do a programme, I always try and nick bits of the costume. And any time I do a photo shoot, I do my best to walk away with a suit.

Where in London would you want to be taken on a date?

Since the papers have reported that I've been seen having dinner at the Dorchester with Jo Guest, I may as well see what it looks like.

What don't you leave London without?

A smile. I'm not having a love affair with London at the moment because of the traffic. It takes so long to get anywhere.

Admit to one thing you've done in London that you've never told anyone before.

Me and [the actor] Will Mellor were supposed to be doing an interview for our TV show Two Pints at the Lanesborough Hotel. We turned up in jeans and T-shirts, and the doorman wouldn't let us in on account of the jacket-and-tie dress code. So we slagged off the place in the interview and nicked a couple of ashtrays as well. Trouble is, they look so tacky outside the swanky setting that no one uses them. I'm looking to sell them at a car-boot sale, actually.

Who last saw you naked?

My housemate, Pete.

What is your favourite meal to cook at home?

I went on Ready, Steady, Cook and learned how to make green bean soup and griddled steak with mustard and chive mash and red-wine sauce. It's rather good.

What last made you cry?

I tend to cry when I laugh. The other day, my mate Zeus was trying to be cool, showing off to some ladies at a barbecue. He had a go on my pogo stick, flew off it and smashed his head. I was sobbing with laughter.

What would you put on the Trafalgar Square plinth?

If England ever won the World Cup, they would have to go up there.

Where in London would you have your ashes scattered?

Nowhere - I'd want to go back up North. It's where I really call home.

If your house were on fire, which three things would you rescue?

The keys for my Jaguar SK8, my watch and my teddy.

Ralf Little is in the new series of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps on Mondays at 9pm on BBC2

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