If I tell you that this movie is all downhill after the opening sequence - with Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy in industrial-sized Wonderbras - you might get the wrong impression: it just happens to be the best sequence in a movie that is carelessly littered with poor pastiche.
David "Airplane!" Zucker takes over the directorial reins from Marlon Wayans for the third in this everweakening spoof franchise and while he backpedals on the gross-out scenes, he fails to substitute much in the way of, uh, humour.
Riffing around the theme of The Ring - haunted videotape kills people within seven days of viewing - the script also has a pop at Eminem's 8 Mile, The Matrix, Signs and The Sixth Sense, without really going for the jugular through satire or causing big laughs. More often than not - and this is spectacularly true of the Eminem rapping battle scenes - they are simply pale imitations of the originals. Rubbish imitations are not parodies, they're bloodless pastiches.
The only jokes are all crammed into the first five minutes ("The dogs are acting strange" - cue dogs in drag, dogs driving tractors, etc) and the sickest sequence involves an alien disguised as Michael Jackson that I am not about to describe.
Meanwhile, it is left to Charlie Sheen, Leslie Nielsen and Denise Richards to inject a little of their deadpan drollery into an otherwise drab movie. Even they look bored.
Call me old-fashioned, but I really could have done without the paedophile priest. Seems like the parody's over.
Scary Movie 3
Cert: cert15
