Seven of the weirdest musical collaborations ever

Unlikely duo: Sting and Shaggy
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Jochan Embley20 February 2019

Collaboration is the lifeblood of good music. Talented musicians come together to share their creative vitality, riffing off each other to craft the kind of songs they simply wouldn’t be able to by themselves.

That said – collaborations can also be bad, and weird. Sometimes, two artists join forces when they really didn’t need to, turning out music that nobody asked for and nobody wants.

To praise them for trying is a dangerous game – it might encourage more of the same – especially when, as good as the original intentions might have been, the end product is so much less than the sum of its parts.

With that in mind, below are seven of the weirdest, and worst, musical collaborations ever to happen.

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Sting and Shaggy

Let’s start with the latest notable addition to the long line of Proper Weird Musical Collaborators, Sting and Shaggy. The former Police frontman and the dancehall favourite teamed up in 2018 to record album 44/876 — for those not too hot on their international calling codes, 44 and 876 are the numbers for the UK and Jamaica respectively. The result is an airy, upbeat and rather disconcerting splurge of reggae, dancehall and pop, which bizarrely managed to blag itself a Grammy — that’s right, it somehow won an actual award. “The most important thing to me in any kind of music is surprise,” Sting told Rolling Stone in 2018, “and everybody is surprised by this collaboration — by what they’re hearing. We’re surprising.” That's one word for it.

Status Quo and Scooter

It’s the classic story — boy meets girl; girl meets boy; aging legacy rockers meet peroxide-blond German jumpstyle legend — we’ve all heard it a million times before. Except we haven’t, and if you’ve heard this song at least once before, then we’re sorry for bringing it back to your attention. As the result of some peculiar cosmic alignment, Status Quo and Scooter came together to record this song. Or, to be more accurate, re-record. It’s a monstrous version of Quo's 1979 single Whatever You Want, embellished with a bludgeoning kick drum and some quintessential Scooter lyrics. It was released in the UK mid December 2008, just in time for a late shot at the Christmas number one — alas, it only made it to number 57.

James Corden and Dizzee Rascal

As if James Corden’s transformation from lad culture pin-up to celebrity-shoulder-rubbing late night TV host weren't bewildering enough, try this. Back before Corden was singing with A-listers in a rental car, he was featuring on one of the weirdest football songs to have ever been released — and with the likes of Infernal’s From London to Berlin and Andy Cole’s rap song, there’s some hot competition out there. It features some uncharacteristically awful verses from Dizzee Rascal, while Corden does his best Tears For Fears impression in the chorus. It was released just before the 2010 World Cup, a tournament in which England seemed all out of sorts — much like this song.

Brian May and Dappy/5ive

Brian May has played alongside some of the greatest performers ever to grace the stage: Freddie Mercury, Luciano Pavarotti, Michael Jackson, Elton John, George Michael. Also, Dappy and 5ive. Not content with a legacy as just the guitarist in one of Britain’s greatest ever rock bands, May has decided to indulge in some rather questionable collaborations over the years. In 2000, he joined the boyband 5ive at the BRIT Awards for a hip hop mash-up of We We Will Rock You, which was — praise the lord — later released as an official single. Then, 12 years later and seemingly still not satisfied, he joined N Dubz member Dappy on the roundly awful rap-rock-pop flop, Rockstar. He hasn’t done anything like it since, but we all have to live with the knowledge that at any time, and in any place, Brian May could reappear with another weird collaboration.

Dolly Parton and Sylvester Stallone

In 1984, Dolly Parton and Sylvester Stallone starred in the musical comedy Rhinestone. To tell a long story short: Parton plays a singer who makes a bet that she can turn anyone into a country music star. Her unwitting subject is Stallone’s character, Nick, a New York cabbie. She trains him up, they fall in love, he plays a gig and — whaddya know — he’s actually a good rock’n’roll singer. At least, that’s what the plot would have you believe. In reality, Stallone is still very ungood. As if to prove the point, a full length album was released to accompany the film, including a number of duets between the two. They are bad. So is the film. Consistency is everything.

Victoria Beckham and Nas

Nobody wanted you to hear this, not even Victoria Beckham. This deeply strange collaboration was part of a 2003 album put together by Beckham and Roc-a-Fella Records co-founder Damon Dash, in which the former Spice Girl looked set to reimagine herself as a hip hop star. It was never released but, in 2007, this demo was leaked. It's quite something. The beat is a glitchy amalgamation of all the worst things happening in early-2000s hip hop and, bizarrely, one of the greatest rappers ever pops in for a few bars. It’s actually a very weak verse — something tells us Nas wasn’t exactly enthralled by the prospect of guesting on a Posh Spice song. In 2016, more songs were leaked, including one with Ol’ Dirty Bastard that isn’t readily available on YouTube. If you want to dig that out, we can only wish you luck.

Mariah Carey and Westlife

The combination of personnel here isn’t actually too weird. Mariah Carey and Westlife were both pretty massive deals in the late 90s, so this almost makes sense. There is still plenty of weird about it, though. Firstly, they chose to cover Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now), Phil Collins’ devastating portrayal of a heart-wrenching divorce — hell of a power ballad, but not exactly pop music gold. Then, there’s the video. It’s structured in such a way that we’re led to believe Carey is reminiscing over her former lovers and that those exes are, in fact, all of Westlife. Are we meant to assume all five of them were previously entangled in some sort of love pentagon? Who knows. Don’t think about it too much – and listen to the original version instead.

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