5 X Factor: Battle of the Stars moments you'd probably rather forget

Famous faces from Gillian McKeith to Rebecca Loos took part in the show's original celebrity spin-off
Line-up: Cowell gathered a series of stars to take part in the 2006 show
Ken McKay / Shutterstock

Before there was The X Factor: Celebrity, there was The X Factor: Battle of the Stars.

Broadcast on ITV at the tail end of May 2006 and finishing just days before the Baden-Baden World Cup kicked off, this pop culture curio has been largely forgotten - perhaps because the WAG-stravaganza that was ongoing generated enough tabloid headlines to push the six-episode reality show out of the conversation entirely.

This collective amnesia will no doubt have pleased Simon Cowell. Originally conceived as a celebrity edition of Pop Idol, until the shiny new X Factor format replaced the old show, the result was a series so spectacularly bad that Cowell later seemed to disown it entirely, describing it as “pointless.”

Featuring performances from a rogue’s gallery of soap stars, notorious tabloid villains and - inexplicably - a supergroup of chefs, the competition was eventually won by EastEnders actress Lucy Benjamin. Unlike the new X Factor spin-off, which sees famous faces vying for a record contract, this contest had no real prize other than the winner’s title.

As the celebrity spin-off makes a comeback, here are five moments from the original series that could only have happened in 2006...

Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee didn't make it past show one​

Voted off: THe couple's dance moves failed to impress
Ken McKay / Shutterstock

The late magician and his wife’s painstakingly literal performance of Robbie Williams’ Let Me Entertain You saw the pair pointing at the audience like a World War One recruitment poster during the final word of the chorus and McGee letting out an unconvincing wail after Daniels sang the lyrics ‘Now scream!’.

Louis Walsh claimed the experience was “like watching Van Morrison and a Barbie doll doing karaoke” and the pair failed to make it through to the next round, after enjoying the dubious honour of being stuck in the bottom two with McKeith.

McGee’s next shot at a TV talent show proved far more successful: just over a decade later, she made it to the final of Strictly Come Dancing with professional partner Giovanni Pernice, eventually losing to Joe McFadden.

Gillian McKeith sang I Just Want to Make Love to You

Before she dropped the ‘Doctor’ from her name and before her infamous ‘faint’ in the I’m A Celebrity jungle, the former overlord of diet TV enjoyed a thankfully brief X Factor stint.

Her debut performance of I Just Want To Make Love To You, complete with suggestive posturing and pouting, prompted Cowell to tell her, ‘“If I didn’t know you, I’d have thought you were drunk,” while his fellow judge Sharon Osbourne likened it to “what you’d see in the Star Wars bar.”

Somehow, McKeith survived to sing another day, but her rendition of It’s In His Kiss (described by Osbourne as “bizarre and somewhat frightening”) wasn’t enough to take her any further than the show’s second round.

Rebecca Loos was paired with James Hewitt…

File this masterstroke under ideas that should never left the four walls of ITV's meeting room.

Producers decided to pair up Rebecca Loos and James Hewitt as a pop duo, apparently on the basis of their alleged links to national sweethearts, despite them having a. Zero chemistry and b. Almost zero singing talent.

Introduced to the show via a genuinely unsettling VT in which they look more like a teatime detective duo than prospective singing partners, Loos and Hewitt then proceeded to mangle a string of hits apparently chosen for their ‘nudge, nudge, wink, wink’ potential, including a chilling rendition of the never-not-creepy duet Baby It’s Cold Outside (in June).

Hewitt had the stage manner of a Thunderbird puppet cut loose from its strings, and his clipped elocution made hits like Robbie Williams’ Rock DJ sound like a series of vocal exercises from My Fair Lady - when he could remember the lyrics, that is.

... And Sharon Osbourne’s digs just kept on coming

Despite Loos’ vocals (just about) carrying her partner’s dire efforts, the former PA became the focus of intense ire from Osbourne.

“If you get through tonight, you should try doing tomorrow’s performance with your knickers on,” the judge told her after the pair’s rendition of Addicted To Love, before adding: “You’ve got a very bad vibe that comes from you.”

The next day, she appeared to be teetering on the verge of apologising to Loos, telling her “I was very unprofessional…” before making a savage U-turn and adding “because I didn’t comment on your singing.”

Osbourne probably had to sit through more of Loos’ performances than she’d anticipated, though, as the public kept voting them in until the fourth episode - until she had the last laugh and used her judges’ prerogative to eliminate her and Hewitt from the competition, saving Nikki Sanderson instead.

Celebrity X Factor 2019: Official Line-up - In pictures

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The royal family turned up to watch (sort of)​

Here’s a moment that almost certainly won’t appear in series six of The Crown. Getting an early head start in the race to be crowned the most ‘relatable’ royals, Zara Phillips (daughter of Princess Anne and granddaughter of Her Majesty) and her then-boyfriend, now-husband Mike Tindall were spotted cheering in the audience.

A column from the Daily Mail’s royal reporter suggested that it was an affront for Princess Diana’s niece-in-law to have to applaud Hewitt’s performance, but the couple seemed to have a grand old time regardless. Fingers crossed for cameos from Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie this time around.

X Factor: Celebrity airs on Saturday nights. The first episode is now available to watch via the ITV Hub.

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