Aliens have landed on my plate

10 April 2012

Reg, my husband and trusty companion, came with me to The Grill at The Dorchester, which is how The Dorchester Grill must be referred to since its relaunch in 2005.

"You can't even think about the section of Grill Classics," I said. "We are here to try the distinctive cooking style of Aiden Byrne, who joined the restaurant four months ago and who was head chef at Tom Aikens before he went to Danesfield House, Hotel & Spa in Buckinghamshire." You can see why Reg stays with me, can't you. How else would he find out things like that?

Reluctantly dragging his eyes away from a list that kicked off with wild smoked salmon and went on to offer grilled Dover sole or roast rib of beef with Yorkshire pudding, Reg chose Dublin bay prawns with broccoli purée, ricotta dumplings and caviar to start, followed by squab pigeon with pickled cabbage and sweet garlic butter sauce.

We had been given a very nice table in the dining room which is these days decorated with a mad mural of Scottish Highlanders having a fling in kilts. A basket of fancy breads was brought but after trying the one with Stilton strafed through it, and rejecting the one with sundried tomato, Reg asked for plain white which had to be fetched from the kitchen.

Then, before our chosen dishes were brought, the "present from the chef" - nowadays mandatory in expensive, ambitious restaurants - arrived.

It looked as though a small flying saucer filled with tiny aliens had landed on a hillock of mashed potato. A skewer sticking out with a cube of foie gras and a cube of potato rolled in chopped black truffle seemed to be the aliens' peace offering.

Although mildly funny to think about, it didn't, as the French say, amuse the mouth so much as smother that nice, edgy hunger you have at the start of a meal. "Did you enjoy your amuse?" said the manager. Earlier he had asked us if he could explain the menu. I was longing to ask him to explain why everything cost so much.

Dublin Bay prawns arrived on a big white plate which looked as though someone had taken a wide paintbrush and sloshed across a colour called Bright Green. This was the broccoli purée. The combination of prawns, broccoli and ricotta dumplings worked very well and caviar nobly assumed the role of salt.

Turning pig's trotters into a starter priced at £14.50 plus 12.5 per cent service involves traducing their humble origins and gilding with rich, glossy, heavilyreduced sauce what was never, as it were, a lily. Fritters of Clonakilty black pudding were the more enjoyable part of that assembly.

After an inadmissibly long wait, pigeon was served as a stuffed leg rearing upwards with the breast cut in slices. Pickled cabbage was a dowdy accompaniment and there was nothing fresh and sprightly on the plate.

Now that eating out is a commonplace activity and not, even in this price bracket, undertaken only occasionally for special celebrations, it is time that haute cuisine chefs took into account most people's desire to eat somewhat healthily. Roasted halibut with bone marrow and mushroom duxelles - another spineless accompaniment - featured dry overcooked fish.

Bread and butter pudding is a lovely dessert. Rendering it as spiced bread mousse with vanilla butter cream is no improvement. Jason McAuliffe, "Head of Wine" who was previously at Chez Bruce, has revolutionised the list, adding 30 bins under £30 and a long list of wines by the glass.

Charming, knowledgeable sommelier Nadine Weihgold, whose grandfather has a vineyard in Germany, steered me to some excellent and appropriate discoveries by the glass. In this area anyway, The Grill is much improved.

The Dorchester Grill Room
Park Lane, London, W1K 1QA

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