Londoner's Diary: Is Julian Barnes’s slim volume bound to cash in?

Welcoming capitalism: Julian Barnes
Samir Hussein/Getty Images
27 November 2015

You can’t judge a book by its cover. But perhaps you can judge its author when that cover costs £350 (plus postage and packaging). That’s what some lucky Julian Barnes fans can pay for first editions of his new book, The Noise of Time, due to be published in January.

Barnes — whose Man Booker Prize-winning last tome, The Sense of an Ending, was criticised for its brevity (160 pages) — complained in 2013 about the inclusion of American writers in the prize, calling it “an example of capitalist expansionism. Once you’ve got one market sewn up, you want to go after another.”

Such as those with wallets thick enough to buy such a book? Barnes’s derision for capitalism appears to have diminished over the past two years. At least, that would explain the special, limited first editions of his new book being sold through the London Review of Books shop.

The Noise of Time, according to Barnes’s website, is “a story about the collision of Art and Power, about human compromise, human cowardice and human courage, it is the work of a true master”. To display fully Barnes’s mastery, the LRB is selling goatkskin-bound first editions of the new 192-page book, pre-signed by Barnes, for a mere £350 (plus minimum £13 postage). The author is also catering to the middle market with a cheapo £175 edition, quarter-bound in leather.

Barnes won the 2011 Man Booker because, according to the judges, The Sense of an Ending “spoke to humankind in the 21st century”. Humankind might be less keen to listen when they’re paying £2 a page.

Barnes’s agent was unavailable for comment when The Londoner rang this morning.

***

Earlier this month The Londoner got out the secateurs at the publication of Lady Tania Compton’s new book, The Private Gardens of England. One of the lawns the book grants access to is the Duke of Westminster’s which, Lady Tania said, opens to the public once a year for the church. Then the Grosvenor Estate dropped us a line to say the Eaton Estate in fact holds four charity open days a year — the next in March. With fronds like us, who needs anemones?

Another Bard day in the Commons

Move over Mao — the Bard is back on the benches. Perhaps taking inspiration from his shadow chancellor, Labour’s Chris Bryant got a copy of Richard II out in the Chamber, reading a passage aloud to Commons Leader Chris Grayling.

“This royal throne of kings, this scepter’d isle,/ This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,/ This other Eden, demi-paradise,/ This fortress built by Nature for herself/ Against infection and the hand of war, [...] Is now leased out, I die pronouncing it,/ Like to a tenement or pelting farm”.

The subject of the debate, was national assets being sold off, which Bryant claimed Shakespeare predicted 400 years ago. He did add that he would not be throwing the book across the Despatch Box. Probably for the best.

Don’t go West, East is best

Who said east London was over? Certainly not Alexander McQueen. The brand opened its new flagship store on Commercial Street in Spitalfields last night, and the party attracted all the bright young things from the fashion and music industry. Pictured right are Lottie Moss, Kate’s 17-year-old sister, with fellow model Evangeline Ling, who is also from an interesting dynasty to be — her sister is blogger and DJ Bip Ling. Singer Foxes, inset, may not have any famous siblings but seemed to be enjoying herself at the bash. After all, she is about to embark on her first headline UK tour — we’d celebrate too if we were her.

Webster’s toast to smokin’ Madge

Smokin': Madonna
Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Ooh, shiny things. Jewellery designer Stephen Webster was at The Society Club in Soho this week to promote his suitably amethyst-hued autobiography Gold Struck.

He’s also climbed into bed with Tracey Emin for a “very emotional” new collection, inspired and named after the neon sign that Emin made for him — ‘I Will Always Love You’ — that hangs over his Beverly Hills boutique.

Webster’s roll call of customers might not quite be everyone he’s ever slept with, but there are a few eccentric characters. “I’ve made 10, let’s say, saucy rings for a man who will never actually wear them,” he reminisced. How titillating. “And at the other end of the spectrum, a golden cigarette with a fire opal for an 85-year-old woman to take to the gym.”

That’s not Madonna, by the way, but speaking of the singer, pictured, Webster was once asked to visit her house to showcase his jewellery. Waiting for Queen Madge to enter, he recalls, “After about 10 minutes I could smell some burning.” Webster went out into the hall and “Madonna came up from the stairs below with wisps of smoke,” he says.

“I thought, f***ing hell, that is how Madonna enters a room. And she said, ‘So sorry, I just burnt the toast.’”

***

Farewell to Lucinda Morrison, taking her curtain call as head of press at the National Theatre after 19 years. Her departure for the Chichester Festival Theatre follows chairman John Makinson’s announcement that he will step down in 2016. Morrison wishes her old colleagues well but says in her departure letter that the lure of both a new challenge — and a country cottage — “was irresistible”.

Snoopy saves the day

The Londoner is still sad to have missed Robert Peston’s leaving do from the BBC which came complete with fireworks. But what sort of leaving do will Beeb head honcho Danny Cohen, right, have? The Popbitch newsletter — never written in the spirit of bonhomie — claims that colleagues organised an office whip-round to buy the BBC television director a farewell present but managed to raise just £40.

Then came the question of what to buy him — and none could think of what he actually enjoyed. One seemed to remember that he liked Snoopy, so the team went down to John Lewis and got him ...Snoopy fridge magnets. (For that price, we’re not sure any fridge door can be big enough.)

Nominative determinism of the day: when asked if MPs would back intervention in Syria, Crispin Blunt replied: “In short, yes”.

The Londoner is sure the collection was just bad luck. We are confident that his colleagues will lay on a better leaving bash for him.

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