10 minutes with Alan Carr

'It might not look like it but I like running and my thigh muscles have taken my bum away'
Sarah Lamptey10 April 2012

The comedian talks to Sarah Lamptey about chatting up Justin Timberlake, making babies and why his bum's gone to sleep

What do you think about the commotion over Ricky Gervais using the word 'mong' on Twitter?
Sarcasm and irony never come across that well in black and white. It's a live thing. The only time you get someone speaking their mind now is in a comedy club and it would be a shame if that right got taken away.
A lady laughed so much during your show that she went into labour...
Her waters broke, she had a girl called Lily later on that evening. I was hoping she would be called Alani.
You're a self-described 'spexy beast' - what do you like least about your appearance?
Oh my God, how long is this article? I'm aching at the moment. No one believes it but I've actually got glute amnesia.
What on earth is that?
It's where my bum has forgotten how to work. It might not look like it but I like running and my thigh muscles have taken my bum away so my right cheek doesn't work any more. It's causing me lower back pain and stiffness of the hips.
Which star on Chatty Man have you been most excited about?
Justin Timberlake. I felt like we'd excelled ourselves a bit there.
When did you last drink too much?
On tour in Belfast, I started off with a nice vodka and tonic, I thought, 'That's not very calorific,' so I moved on to the pinot noir and I ended up at a pub called The Spaniard. The next day I tweeted, 'Did anyone see me in The Spaniard?' and some wit said they'd seen me in The Spaniel. I wasn't that drunk. I've never resorted to bestiality.
Have you ever thought, 'This crowd just does not get me'?
At my first gig for the Montreal comedy festival I didn't get a single laugh. Then I realised it was a fundamentalist Christian meeting. I was actually tapping the microphone going, 'Is this on? Can you hear me?'
Do you ever question what you're doing?
Oh, all the time. I think you have to. I've had standing ovations, and with all the testosterone and adrenaline I feel like I can invade Poland! Then there are times when you die on your arse and you're sitting in your hotel room and people say, 'Yeah you're rubbish'. It has that whole range of emotions, just tapping away at your self-confidence. I'd rather stand outside with a clipboard saying, 'Did you enjoy it? No? Did you?' I'm one of those really needy comedians.
Alan Carr: Chatty Man is on Sunday nights on Channel 4. His new DVD Spexy Beast is out on Monday

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