From Gigi to Taylor: The new rules of dating according to Hollywood's hottest stars

Are you power parting, Swifting — or fully dating? Thanks to Taylor, Rihanna and co, romantic semantics have had an update. Samuel Fishwick offers a beginner’s guide  
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Samuel Fishwick @Fish_o_wick22 September 2016

The Summer of Love (well, Love Island) is over — now is the season of romantic discontent. It is a truth universally acknowledged that everyone wants a plus-one for party season. But dating can be a minefield, with potential pitfalls at every turn. Never more so than now in our over-Tindered, communication-mad world. To make matters worse, recent weeks have seen a host of new and confusing terms enter the love lexicon, from ‘fully dating’ to the ‘equal-opportunities lover’. The rules have changed: ghosting’s out, and ‘power parting’ is in. Can’t keep up? Here’s your guide.

Date (fully)

Despite that snog in front of 6.5 million viewers at the VMAs last month, it still took a ‘close source’ to confirm that Rihanna and Drake are ‘fully dating’. But what is ‘fully dating’? So far, it seems to include sneaking out of clubs together and dining at Nobu. Drake says he’s been ‘in love’ with Riri for seven years — but also that ‘she’s one of my best friends in the world’. In summary: to ‘fully date’ is to do more than just ‘hang out’, but you won’t yet be at meet-the-parents level. It’s the new way to show your commitment (‘fully’), without resorting to awkward boyfriend/girlfriend tags.

Fully dating: Drake and Rihanna 
FilmMagic

Commitment-phobic? Bag yourself an ‘official date’

‘Fully dating’ too intense? Relegate your paramour to an ‘official date’. If it’s good enough for Sadie Frost, it’s good enough for us. The actress and producer, 51, says she’s had an ‘official date’ for the past three years (aka Darren Strowger, founder of the communications agency Excell Group). The independent (wo)man’s AW16 must-have, the official date looks great at functions, especially when worn with a Prada coat and Louboutin heels — but can be put in storage (sent to its own home) when it’s time for Sunday lunch with the kids. It’s not a fling, it’s just a weekday thing.

Induce envy with ‘Hiddleswifting’

If Taylor Swift hooked up with Tom Hiddleston in a wood and no one was around to hear about it, would it have made a sound? With Swift’s PR team, you bet it would have. Louder, prouder and letting your ex know about it: that’s the ‘Hiddleswift’ way. The aim? To induce envy in a past partner after a break-up. How to pull it off? With seaside photo-ops, romantic social media updates and, er, proclaiming your love via the medium of fashion (Tom’s ‘I <3 T.S.’ vest being the standard by which all others shall be judged). Deploy with caution or you’ll risk rumours of showmancing.

Tom Hiddleston & Taylor Swift - In pictures

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If that fails, go conspicuously solo

Hiddleswifting gone awry? Try plain old ‘Swifting’. This after-the-rebound phase is all about celebrating your singledom. It would be empowering if only you didn’t care quite so much how many people noticed. Entails: plentiful selfies having fun with the #squad (à la TS on the Hilfiger FROW with model Martha Hunt), pictures of solo domestic bliss, and unashamed third-wheeling (joining Gigi and Zayn’s NYC date night, for instance). Prince Harry is also a master of this, having tagged along with William and Kate at Wimbledon, the Rugby World Cup, and even at Harry Potter World post-Cressie. The key to pulling it off? Access to high-level events and photo ops. Casual trips to Costa à trois just don’t cut it.

8th Annual Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic - 30 May 2015
Startraks Photo/REX/Shutterstock

Exorcise your ghosts with a power parting

Ghosting, in which bae suddenly vanished, screening all calls and texts after several weeks of dating, was 2015’s most chilling zeitgeist (see also: ‘benching’ — stringing along the ‘benchee’ with flirty WhatsApp messages that never manifest as a date). Now relationship therapists are reporting a healthier way of exorcising your ex. The ‘power-parting’ — a term coined by the American psychotherapist and author Esther Perel and rapidly gaining popularity among London’s Tinder-weary City-set — sees couples end things with a summit meeting to discuss how things went between you, how it will work when you bump into each other at friend’s parties, and swap tips for the future. No more sudden disappearing. Think of it as the 2016 update to Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s conscious uncoupling. Today’s A-list poster couple? Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson, who’ve been spotted out and about together several times since splitting in July. ‘They remain friends,’ said a rep at the time.

Parted ways: Brooklyn Beckham and Chloe Grace Moretz  
Latour/Variety/REX/Shutterstock

PDAs are out, IDAs are in

Forget Public Displays of Affection, IDAs — Instagram Displays of Affection — are how Gen Z keeps us guessing. They’re publicly displayed, cryptically captioned photographic nuggets designed to hint at new-found ardour, or unrequited love. Is that a twinkle in his eye, a smirk on her lips or just the sepia filter playing ticks? Justin Bieber and Sofia Richie delivered a masterstroke when on holiday in Japan with backseat selfies and snaps of Bieber wearing a novelty octopus hat dotting the pair’s Instagram accounts (before ‘haters’ caused Bieber to take his down). Other fans include Brooklyn Beckham and Chloë Moretz, and Jaden Smith and Sarah Snyder. Variations include FDAs (Facebook Displays of Affection) for the older crowd and SCDA (snapchat displays of affection). Very Kylie Jenner and Tyga.

Kate Moss and Nikolai von Bismarck out and about, London, UK - 09 Jun 2016
Beretta/Sims/REX/Shutterstock

MFILFs are the new MILFs

As everyone knows, the secret to a strong relationship is finding someone your mum approves of. And if that special someone happens to already be close friends with said mum? That saves a lot of faff. Step forward Count Nikolai von Bismarck, who’s been courting Kate Moss since last October. Nikolai’s mum, the exquisitely well-connected Countess Debonnaire ‘Debbie’ von Bismarck, is close friends with Moss, making the supermodel the ultimate ‘MFILF’ (‘mums friends I’d like to...’). A source suggests that it is Debbie to whom Kate goes when she’s in need of mentorship and direction. ‘So Debbie, there’s this guy...’

Break-up to make up

Never, ever, ever getting back together? Or never ever say never? Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik allegedly had a break in June, only to emerge stronger (or ‘more into each other than ever’) weeks later, while Kendall Jenner and Harry Styles may or may not be back on for the third time. With 44 per cent of 17- to 24-year-olds admitting they’ve got back together with an ex within the past two years, it’s no wonder Centennials have been called ‘Generation Make up to Break-up’.

Embrace all opportunities equally

When Miley Cyrus identified herself as ‘pansexual’ in an Elle interview last year, the term became a buzzword for gender-fluid dating. Now we have the update. Lady Gaga, who broke up with her fiancé, Taylor Kinney, in July after five years together, declared herself an ‘equal-opportunities lover’ on a trip to London last week. She has no particular type in mind for her bounceback as long as, y’know, they are nothing like her ex (with whom she’s still pals — see ‘the power parting’). That’s a stance we can all get on board with.

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