Lady of the manners
Dear Hettie
After years of unwedded bliss, Angelina and I are feeling the pressure from our children to tie
the knot (a lot of kids = a lot of pressure). Which is great - who wouldn't want to be married to the hottest woman in the world - but after meeting, gun in hand, on an action movie, and all the exotic places we've been to have babies, save the world, holiday, etc, what on earth can I do to make a proposal exciting?
Yours, Brad Pitt*
Well, yes, quite. What on earth does one do to top all that? I don't think a shonky Italian restaurant with a singing waiter and a solitaire shoved in her tiramisu is going to cut it. Perhaps you could train your Von Trapp-style family to sing a proposal to her after bathtime one evening? No, she'll probably feel that's far too derivative and bourgeois. We need to blindside her. A gorilla-gram? I've always wondered what one of those would be like; no doubt Angelina doesn't fritter away her beautiful thoughts on such fripperies. What about tweeting her? It worked for Ashton and Demi... Oh, no, hang on. Skywriting? She likes flying, but it will spoil the surprise if you ask her to fly the plane. Damn, she's hard work. Are you really sure about this? But wait, we're being idiots! The answer's staring us in the face: you don't have to do anything. This is Angelina Jolie we're talking about. She's not going to sit around waiting for a man to propose. She's going to do it herself. And when she does, you'd better be ready, or she'll kick your butt from here to eternity. Mazel tov!
*Brad Pitt's quandary as imagined by ES
