Welcome to Kensington, Jeremy Corbyn: you can shop at Wholefoods, party at Bodo's and eat at the new Ivy

The Labour Party is on the march - moving to new digs in west London’s Tory heartland. As Jeremy Corbyn packs his panniers, Susannah Butter takes him on a tour of the Royal Borough
Welcome to K&C: Kensington and Corbyn
Paul Dallimore

As leader of the Labour Party, one of Jeremy Corbyn’s biggest challenges is winning over people who are not like him. And where better to do that than Kensington and Chelsea, new home of Labour HQ?

Since being elected to the top job, north London’s socialist-in-chief has shown himself to be an adaptable man — putting on a tie for formal occasions, shaking the Queen’s hand, and now decamping from St James’s Park, due to building works, to a temporary home in the Royal Borough. This is hostile territory — in Kensington Palace Gardens houses sell for more than 100 times the national average, residents include Len Blavatnik, the richest man in Britain. Conservatives won the election here with 52.3 per cent of the vote, up on 2010’s majority of 50 per cent, and the MP is a Baroness — Victoria Borwick. Formerly Boris Johnson’s Deputy Mayor, she once called Corbyn-backer Ken Livingstone “the weakest link” and sees herself as “a champion for the arts and antiques trade”.

So what does Corbyn need to know about his new stomping ground? In the socialist spirit of kinder politics, here is a handy guide to help him settle in. Can’t wait for the housewarming, JC.

You’re spoiling us, Mr Ambassador

Kensington is the embassy capital of London and Corbyn is here in time to build diplomatic relations over towers of Ferrero Rocher chocolate — the festive ambassadorial staple. He’s already familiar with the Israeli embassy, the site of regular protests about Palestine — he campaigned for the release of two men jailed for their involvement in the bombing of the building in 1994.

The Ecuadorian embassy is in nearby Knightsbridge, should he wish to check up on its resident cyberpunk Julian Assange.

Worker’s lunch

Corbyn’s ascetic culinary tastes mean he will fit right in — Leon recently opened to great fanfare in High Street Kensington Tube station, providing brown rice for all. Sure, co-founder Henry Dimbleby was schooled at Eton but Jez was privately educated too, and Dimbleby is atoning for his privilege by campaigning for healthy school dinners. Anyway, Dimbleby’s business partner Allegra McEvedy is a Labour supporter. And did we mention that the sweet potato falafel is very good indeed?

Corbyn usually supplements his allotment produce by shopping at the Co-op but that could just be because he doesn’t know any alternatives. Once he steps inside the organic veg wonderland that is HSK Whole Foods Market, the Co-op will become a distant memory. Perhaps his coffee entrepreneur wife, Laura Alvarez, could collaborate with them on a line of beans?

If he overindulges, it’s straight to the barre at Equinox gym for some hard work (as discussed by Karl Marx). Equinox is popular with politicians — Barack Obama is a regular at the Washington DC branch so this could be the foreign policy in that JC needs.

Off to Leon, Mr Corbyn?
Reuters

Kitchen suppers

A big date in the Smythson diaries of West side residents is next month’s grand opening of The Ivy’s High Street Kensington outpost. Rachel Johnson and the other Jeremy (Clarkson) are said to be delighted at the prospect of a new neighbourhood brassiere and social hub — it’ll make a change from inviting everyone to gather around the Aga.

While the Tories try the champagne, Corbyn can ensure he keeps a cool head in debates with them by sticking to non-alcoholic cocktails or a cold-pressed juice — green, to show his eco-credentials. Vegetarian options are scarce but they do lovely potatoes — they are heritage and start at £3.75.

Ivy League: The Ivy is coming soon to Kensington
Paul Winch-Furness

The party

NB: Here this means dancing, not politics. Prelash at The Roof Gardens, which as Corbyn’s savvy social media army know is the place to snap a selfie with Cheryl Fernandez Versini — social media dynamite and bonus Instagram points if you coax the garden flamingos into the background. Being a regular here could be good for Labour if Corbo convinces owner Richard Branson to donate. Branno has said he is a Thatcherite but nothing is forever.

Afterwards, stroll or Uber across the road to Alpine nightclub Bodo’s Schloss, which is rumoured to have a secret tunnel straight into Prince Harry’s wing of Kensington Palace. Corbyn has holidayed in Germany (the Eastern part, on a motorbike with Diane Abbott) so he must have some lederhosen knocking around to get schlossed in. The DJ might even play the Red Flag if Corbo asks nicely.

Bodo is popular with Prince Harry hunters — mostly young women — and one of the key voting groups that Labour needs to win over.

Kensignton Roof Gardens: popular for prelash

The royal connection

Up until now, Corbyn has been playing it cool with the royal fam — not singing the national anthem at St Paul’s Cathedral and skipping his first Privy Council meeting — so his move to the Royal Borough is sending a mixed message. Is he angling for an invitation to Kensington Palace so that he can check out how the Duchess of Cambridge has renovated it or compare beards with Prince Harry? The Duchess is a woman who hasn’t relied on inherited privilege to get where she is, Corbyn must respect that. Or maybe he wants to pick fruit for his homemade jam in the royal Orangery? The royal family do a lot of charity work in the area — the Duchess of Cornwall is a patron of Trinity Hospice and its charity shop on Kensington Church Street has a fine range of office vests and flatcaps that should be to Corbyn’s liking.

Prince Harry needs cheering up now that Kensington Odeon has closed — it was his favourite local hangout for platonic date nights with Cressida Bonas but now it is being turned into luxury flats. If only Corbyn had arrived in this political hotspot a few months ago — the People’s Republic of Kensington would never let the sun set on a lost campaign. As it is, Corbyn will have to take the Prince to his constituency, where the Holloway Odeon is thriving.

The neighbours

Or lack thereof. Kensington and Chelsea is a ghost town, so Corbyn won’t be disturbed by his neighbours and can sing socialist anthems as loud as he likes. Many of the houses are owned by people who live abroad and the number of empty properties has increased by 40 per cent on last year.

But not living here doesn’t stop those who own places in the capital from improving them, because every luxury home needs at least one super basement. This means local planning meetings are fertile, politically charged ground.

When politicians become pop stars!

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Getting around

Thankfully, Corbyn has a Trek bike so he won’t have to contend with City bankers nabbing Boris bikes to commute on, or test his patience and fondness of public transport by waiting for the Circle line. Kensington residents are also blessed with the finest wheels — that means dodging children in old- fashioned uniforms tearing up the pavement on microscooters while their nannies watch their Barbour jacket-wearing dogs.

Corbyn may not be a petrol fiend but it would be a grave error of judgment for him to pass up the opportunity that working in Kensington offers — to score a parking permit that allows you to park in most of west London. That’s if you ever make it out of the K-hole.

Follow Susannah on Twitter: @susannahbutter

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