Beds with benefits: the best hotels for a staycation in London

London hotels are sweetening staycations with perks including a Burberry coat and your own footman. We evaluated the extras
Capital gains: Phoebe Luckhurst models her Burberry trench at Claridge’s (Picture: Rebecca Reid)
Rebecca Reid

What do you want from a hotel room? A soft, fluffy bed? That’s no longer enough. Now, London’s top hotels are piling on the perks, whether it’s a dial-for-anything button (the Chiltern Firehouse), a dressing-up box (the Berkeley) or even the chance to sleep in a piece of art (the Beaumont).

So if you’re not leaving London this summer, or you just fancy staying in the kind of hotel that can make 23-year-old bombshells fall in love with septuagenarian billionaires, we’ve found you the capital’s best beds with benefits.

SHANG RI-LA HOTEL AT THE SHARD

The bed: Five minutes after being escorted to one of the Shangri-La’s six-room suites, I started calculating how long I could stay there if I sold my flat. Surely there’s an internal organ I could cash in? I mean, no one needs two kidneys, right? For the Shard’s whole hotel is a fantasy — from the swimming pool in the sky (the highest in Europe) and the charming butler, to the suite’s enormous walk-in wardrobe, window bath with London’s best view and bed almost as vast as the V&A’s Great Bed of Ware, just a lot more comfortable.

The benefit: I’m supposed to tell you about the telescope so powerful you can see the office drones buzzing around the Walkie Talkie, but I’d rather describe the suite’s loos (yes, plural: probably the key to a happy relationship). They are Japanese, mad, turbo bidet-esque machines with control panels for the jet settings: “rear”, “front”, “power deodorising” and “oscillating”. Yup, I tried it — and let out a squeal. Quite an experience.

Find it: St Thomas Street, SE1

Price: Rooms from £450, suites from £5,500

020 7234 8000; shangri-la.com/london

Rosamund Urwin

CHILTERN FIREHOUSE

The bed: Chiltern Firehouse is known for its restaurant, where chef Nuno Mendes provides crab doughnuts to an endless stream of celebrity visitors. But the 26 rooms upstairs are a closely guarded secret realm. Naomi Campbell calls the hotel her extended living room. It took 15 attempts to mix the right shade of cream paint for the walls. Above the bed, a photograph of a lady’s bottom provides a hint of mischief, and you can find “London condoms” in the grey marble bathroom.

The benefit: Next to the bed there is a handwritten message entreating guests to lift the receiver of the vintage telephone and “dial 0 for anything”. Nothing is off limits. At first we restricted ourselves to a packet of Lucky Strike cigarettes (smoked out of the window) and whisky. Then, drunk on the power bequeathed to us by the note, we pressed for anything.

Find it: 1 Chiltern Street, W1

Price: From £495 per night

020 7073 7676, chilternfirehouse.com

Susannah Butter

THE HOSPITAL CLUB

Chic décor: The Hospital Club

The bed:

The private members’ club for creative types opened 15 bedrooms in January, ranging from windowless “sleepers” to the full suite I stayed in. The décor is a mash-up of vintage and modern, with a Bakelite dial phone sitting on the sleek wooden bedside table. The hotel’s commitment to contemporary art means there were orange ceramic doughnuts adorning the bedroom wall and a tangled sculpture on the private outdoor terrace — a lovely spot to catch the evening sun.

The benefit: The room has a drinks cabinet stocked with premixed Old Fashioneds, Negronis and Vesper martinis, but at a price. Far better was the 7pm visit from one of the club’s bartenders, who whipped up a pair of complimentary sundowners — strawberry Caipiroskas, the drink of the day — from the contents of his well-stocked wooden trolley. This cocktail o’clock ritual is the kind of room service I could get used to.

Find it: 24 Endell Street, WC2

Price: From £180 per night; 20 per cent discount for members

020 7170 9100, thehospitalclub.com

Sarah Cohen

THE GORING

The bed: Once dismissed as “the boring Goring”, London’s last family-run hotel was recently reopened by the Duchess of Cambridge (who stayed there before the royal wedding) and revamped as a kind of ritzy, mad old manor house in the heart of Belgravia. There’s a cuddly sheep in every room, a giant croquet lawn out the back, and a hand-painted mural in the lobby depicting the hotel’s founder as a medallion-wearing walrus. Obviously.

At your service: a footman at the Goring Hotel

The benefit:

Each of the five suites comes with its own footman/slave: a discreet, charming ninja in scarlet tails who will unpack for you and do pretty much anything else that your inner Lord Grantham may desire. He draws the line at back rubs, sadly.

Find it: Beeston Place, SW1

Price: From £1,340 per night

020 7396 9000, thegoring.com

Jimi Famurewa

HOTEL CAFE ROYAL

The bed: Despite its illustrious past (founded 1865) the Café Royal is, since its 2012 renovation, a thoroughly slick five-star hotel. The rooms have wood or Portland stone décor, while top-of-the-line Signature suites are implausibly palatial.

The benefit: The hotel boasts London’s only watsu pool: you float in a pool of warm, chest-high water while being massaged. I started sceptical (watsu practitioner Steve Karle: “What do you normally do to relax?” Me: “Drink. Um, I’m a journalist.” Karle: “Er, perfect…”) but it was indeed deeply relaxing.

You can also relax Fleet Street-style at the hotel’s private members’ The Club, which you can access if you’re staying in a suite: a most congenial space with some very fine cocktails.

Tranquil oasis: Hotel Cafe Royal's Akasha swimming pool

Find it:

68 Regent Street, W1

Price: Rooms from £480; suites from £710. Watsu session: £120/50 minutes

020 7406 3333, hotelcaferoyal.com

Andrew Neather

THE BEAUMONT

The bed: “God, I can watch cricket in the bath!” my boyfriend declared after exploring our suite. The Beaumont, tucked away near Bond Street, has plenty of other charms, though: you can create your own sundae in its Colony restaurant (pour on the salted caramel), and have a Hamam treatment to astronaut music in its Art Deco-meets-space-age spa.

The benefit: Ours wasn’t any old room — we were staying in a piece of art: ROOM by Antony Gormley. The sculptor built a cubist man on the side of the hotel; inside is an oak-panelled bedroom, which simultaneously reminded me of a monastic chapel, with its window high above the bed, and Tetris thanks to the blocks. It is deliberately austere, yet with the softest of beds. There’s also a bathroom you’ll want to wallow in — cricket fan or not.

Find it: Brown Hart Gardens, Balderton Street, W1

Price: From £395 per night; room £2,250 per night

020 7499 1001, thebeaumont.com

Rosamund Urwin

CLARIDGE’S

Fancy setting: Phoebe gets comfy in her Claridge’s suite (Picture: Rebecca Reid)

The bed:

I arrived at Claridge’s at the tail-end of a bank holiday, by which I mean “hungover and quite grubby”.

We were staying in an eponymous Claridge’s Suite; the living room was almost as big as my flat. My flat lacks a coherent theme — unless crap is a theme — whereas the suite was wrought in elegant, Art Deco-style. Over dinner at Fera we discovered pre-starter starters and pre-dessert desserts. There was a lot of food.

The benefit: Claridge’s provides a Burberry trench for guests of its suites — thrilling if you idolise Burberry babes Cara, Kate Moss or Jourdan Dunn. It’s a playful way of making you feel like you’re the sort of person who spends all their time flitting into and out of fancy hotels. I was so taken with the coat that I snapped my second ever selfie #holiday.

Find it: Brook Street, W1

Price: From £2,340 per night

020 7629 8860, claridges.co.uk

Phoebe Luckhurst

ROSEWOOD LONDON

The bed: A grand affair in the Grade II-listed former HQ of an insurance company, with a showstopping lobby — think colourful birds in cages and mirrored mosaics. Despite being in central London, rooms are peaceful and plush with complimentary sloe gin and deep mattresses.

Colourful: Rosewood London's Scarfes Bar

The benefit:

On Sunday mornings the hotel’s courtyard transforms into a farmers’ market with more than 30 stalls from around the country. Everything is “Slow” certified (that’s sustainable, local and organic) and hotel guests and passers by can taste the produce at brunch in the Mirror Room. We tried duck cured in sloe gin, honey beer and malty brown bread from Olivier’s Bakery in Tower Bridge.

Find it: 252 High Holborn, WC1

Price: From £370 per night

Susannah Butter

THE BERKELEY

The bed: Along with two bathrooms, a separate lounge and a bed that would make Home Alone 2’s Kevin McCallister proud, the Berkeley suite has every home comfort imaginable. The Knightsbridge hotel combines old-school British hospitality with a modern take on luxury that will please even the highest-maintenance guest.

Dive in: The Berkeley's open-air pool

The benefit:

An in-room fashion trunk containing vintage pieces from the likes of Yves Saint Laurent and Chanel will help ease your pre-dinner dressing dilemmas. Guests are also welcomed to splash freely in the hotel’s open-air pool.

Find it: Wilton Place, SW1

Price: £475 per night

020 7235 6000, the-berkeley.co.uk

Karen Dacre

HAM YARD HOTEL

The bed: Soho’s quirky art hotel is a must for anyone with an aversion to stuffy establishments. The vision of owners Tim and Kit Kemp, who have masterminded a handful of boutique hotels in the capital, no two suites are the same but all deluxe rooms come with a squishy king-size bed and floor-to-ceiling windows. It’s worth leaving your room to admire the works of art lining every corridor.

The benefit: Along with a roof terrace, two well-stocked bars, a library, spa, Hypoxic Studio gym (I had to google it as well) and the chic boutiques in the Ham Yard Village courtyard, you will also find a 190-seat cinema and a Fifties-style bowling alley, complete with strobe-lit dance floor. We managed to squeeze in three games of bowling (Instagram junkies will appreciate the vintage shoes and ice cream sandwiches) before catching a preview screening of Alex Ross Perry’s new literary comedy, Listen Up Philip. A busy Sunday evening. It helped knowing our bed was only 100 paces away.

Find it: 1 Ham Yard, W1

Price: From £438 per night

020 3642 2000 firmdalehotels.com

Emma McCarthy

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