The #MeToo movement sweeping our capital's restaurants

London’s hospitality sector is finally facing up to harassment and bullying in bars and restaurants — and doing something about it
Illustrations by Michelle Thompson
Victoria Stewart25 April 2019

During a restaurant shift when she was younger, chef Merly Kammerling asked a manager if she could go to the toilet.

‘He stopped me with his body and said he wouldn’t let me go unless I took him in with me. I went home and I cried that night,’ she says. ‘I don’t think he was being serious [or] knew how intimidating that was to me.’ As well as working in kitchens, Kammerling now also runs Me, Myself in Mind, offering stress-reduction and mental health awareness classes to restaurant employees.

Meira Harrow* recalls her first job as a waitress in a pub: ‘At the time I hadn’t had sex, but the chefs were constantly asking me what my favourite style was, and there was this underlying, constant sexualisation of the workplace.’ She has since left the industry.

Such stories are not unusual in the food and drink world. A survey last year by Code Hospitality revealed that nine out of 10 staff had ‘experienced or witnessed abuse in their careers’, and 60 per cent doubted that managers would address sexual harassment complaints. Now the #MeToo movement, which has sent shock waves through the worlds of entertainment, sport and politics, is shining a light into this dark corner of the hospitality industry.

In 2018, award-winning American restaurateur Ken Friedman and celebrity chef Mario Batali stepped away from their respective groups amid allegations similar to those levelled against Harvey Weinstein. Here in the UK, the Financial Times exposed sexist behaviour at a charity dinner hosted by The President’s Club and, this January, BBC celebrity chef Dan Doherty stepped down from his TV series and his pub, the Royal Oak in Marylebone, over claims from staff there of inappropriate behaviour, including asking a female colleague for oral sex.

Meanwhile, a 2016 report on the chef shortage by training organisation People 1st revealed ‘consistent examples of intimidation [of female apprentice chefs] which, in another work environment, would be considered to be sexual discrimination but, in a kitchen, is often dismissed as friendly banter.’ Kammerling concurs: ‘It can be very hard to untangle playfulness versus harassment or bullying in [this] environment without losing your game face and fearing revealing weakness.’

Illustration by Michelle Thompson

The communal nature of hospitality can also foster toxic behaviour. ‘The problem in restaurants is that people get comfortable,’ says Natalia Ribbe, who set up L.O.R. (Ladies Of Restaurants), a UK initiative to create a healthier and happier community for women after years working front of house in dining rooms. ‘You’re in close quarters, you’re sometimes sharing a changing room, you’re together so much that you become like family [and it is] one of these convivial atmospheres which encourages a lack of boundaries.’ She cites instances of harassment, passed off as ‘friendliness’, at every place she has worked, ‘like the 70-year-old restaurateur who would stick his finger in my blouse or pat my butt. How was I to know that saying no to this man of authority wouldn’t cost me my job?’

Ribbe also recalls hosting a series of events and one night, ‘the guy I was doing them with lunged at me while we were in the cellar getting some more wine... it was not okay [for him] to do that. I know we were drinking and having fun but at what point did my body language or my words say “please jump in and kiss me?”’

In F&B (the food and beverage industry), there is still low gender diversity. Around one quarter of chefs across the UK are women, dropping to around 15 per cent in London, according to recent data collected by Centre For London from the Office for National Statistics. The industry as a whole is culturally diverse: the same report found 85 per cent of London chefs were born abroad compared with around 50 per cent for the rest of the UK.

I know we were drinking and having fun but at what point did my body language or my words say “please jump in and kiss me?”

Natalia Ribbe

‘But there is a lack of diversity in terms of restaurateurs, chef-owners, chefs and head chefs, which is taking a long time to change,’ says employment lawyer Jo Martin at Womble Bond Dickinson. The upper echelons of the restaurant world are still predominantly white and male. And the unequal power dynamic this creates can be worse if celebrity is added to the mix. ‘I have advised clients who have worked with and brought legal claims against celebrity chefs and they have described a lack of willingness amongst their colleagues to complain about harassment,’ Martin adds. ‘Many have worked very hard to get to work in that particular prestigious venue, and worry that doing this will affect their own position.’

But chef and cookbook writer Gizzi Erskine offers some hope: ‘Because this industry has been so male dominated for such a long time, a lot of people —men — have been my ultimate supports and really helped me make a strong career. So I find it really hard to focus on the bad stuff when there’s so much more good stuff around. I personally have never had any problems with harassment or sexual abuse.’

Erskine is not alone in emphasising that there are good guys as well as destructive ones in the industry. Anna Sebastian, who runs the Artesian bar at The Langham hotel, says her managers ‘are hugely supportive of us. I know from experience that this is not the case everywhere. Ten years ago, someone’s unacceptable behaviour towards me resulted in me leaving the nightclub industry.’

Sebastian says the F&B industry needs to develop a framework in which abuse can be reported and those responsible held to account. ‘There are so many incidents you hear about where people have been either mentally or physically bullied or harassed by someone and nothing has been done, and they do not know where to find help or guidance,’ she says. ‘Unlike in finance or medicine, there is essentially no governing body to ensure people practise and work professionally. That needs to change.’

Moves are being made in this direction. One website initiative, The Everybody Welcome, calls for pubs to train staff using its suggested code. Other organisations including Code Hospitality and my own new not-for-profit platform, Hospitality Speaks, which will document both anonymous stories and positive solutions, are also keen to propose a common code of conduct. At the London Cocktail Club group, comprising 13 bars, co-founder JJ Goodman invited the police to lead a training session on sexual harassment in the workplace: ‘Not a lot of people know that those resources are available.’

Last year, before opening Sambal Shiok laksa bar, Mandy Yin worked in the corporate world ‘where policies against bullying, sexism and racism are more common. So it’s really about calling it out straight away and being clear about why it is unacceptable. The restaurant should be a safe space.’

At all eight Hawksmoor steak restaurants, staff have several managers to report to, access to Hospitality Action’s helpline, and the company’s zero-tolerance approach is clearly signposted, explains HR manager, Ceri Gott. Both Hawksmoor and the Corbin & King group, which includes The Wolseley and Brasserie Zédel restaurants, also conduct regular surveys to gather feedback throughout the business.

‘Probably the biggest challenge,’ say Zuleika Fennell and Ninoska Leppard from Corbin & King’s senior management team, is ‘ensuring that patience, understanding, empathy and celebration of our differences is at the forefront of everyone’s mind so that a zero-tolerance policy towards discrimination and harassment is self-regulating at all levels.’

Many are positive about the future, from Erskine to the owner of the celebrated Lyaness bar, Ryan Chetiyawardana, to chefs such as Chantelle Nicholson and Selin Kiazim, owners of Tredwells and Oklava restaurants. ‘I think things used to be a lot worse than they are now in the restaurant industry, but I do believe things are changing and improving,’ says Kiazim.

Natalia Ribbe is also calling for more urgent education on sexual harassment, and rules governing what interactions are acceptable ‘between guest and employee and employee to employee. We need a proper platform for people to learn and hear from people’s experiences.’ But she points out that the hospitality industry itself shouldn’t be blamed for the behaviour of harassers. ‘If you don’t know when to stop or you’re making someone feel uncomfortable, that is down to you being an ignorant person, not because you work in hospitality.’

Additional reporting by Ina Yulo. Names with * have been changed

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