Peaches teaches

Es Magazine10 April 2012
Q I'm getting married in June and my dad's just told me he'll be at the wedding as a woman. After 35 years of marriage he's admitted to being a transsexual and is having a full sex change. My future in-laws haven't met him yet and I'm terrified how they'll react. Also, how am I supposed to face everyone, with two mums in the church?

A Everyone has weird families. On my first day at secondary school my mother turned up in a bum-skimming, Swarovski crystal-encrusted minidress, with 7in heels and a dead animal draped over her shoulders.

I blushed crimson as the 'respectable' mums in their neutral trouser suits and Ralph Lauren knits stood open-mouthed in horror as she sashayed down the hallway, their balding husbands drooling in her wake. Looking back, it solidifies the memory of how amazing she was, how totally unique, a peacock among ducks.

Your father is still your father, he just looks different. He's the same person, albeit with more make-up and lady bits. He's going to be terrified, too. He's going through serious changes to become the person he truly wants to be, and he's going to have to debut his 'new look' in front of everyone at his daughter's wedding.

The best thing you can do is fully embrace him for who he is now. Your in-laws may well be taken aback, but chances are they'll be on their best behaviour for fear of ruining your big day. And once you walk down the aisle, all eyes will be on you, not on your father.

Q I've been married for nine years and have one child. My husband doesn't pay me any attention any more and I've fallen in love with a wonderful man who treats me like a princess. What should I do? Our son is seven and I think he'd understand, but I don't know about my husband's reaction.

A When you say your husband doesn't pay you any attention, do you mean he doesn't constantly lavish you with his undivided adoration and tell you you look beautiful even when you're lying on the sofa dressed in saggy M&S pyjamas eating a KFC family bucket to yourself? Or do you mean that he just doesn't seem to care any more and would rather clean the toilet than entertain the thought of spending any time in your company? Because you have to tread very carefully here.

Affairs are always exciting because they are new, and toys that are shiny and new seem perfect, until they break. Make sure this is what you really want, if not for the sake of your marriage, then for the sake of your child who will be utterly confused by the upheaval this will cause.

If your husband is the sort of pond-scum that loves the television more than you, Prince Charming probably is the better option, but if you're just going through a rough patch, re-evaluate and slow down. Sometimes the old toys are better than the latest fads.

Q All I want to do is eat chocolate - all day, every day. It's affecting my confidence, my work, my social life and, worst of all, my appearance. I'm desperate to control my cravings but it's so hard. Please help me get some self-control.

A I recently had the same problem with brie. It got to the point where I dreamed about miniature bries dancing and singing like cheesy sirens. I started to have cheese-induced nightmares.

Yes, that old wives' tale is true; eat too much cheese before bed and suffer the most bizarre fantasies. I couldn't stop eating it and was having intense nightmares, waking up, eating more brie, emerging bleary-eyed and crazed in the morning.

I had to go cold turkey - no more brie for Geldof. It was difficult, seemingly impossible even, but by sheer willpower I weened myself off it. Giving up chocolate may seem impossible, and if you literally cannot put the Cadbury's down, try alternative therapies. Susan Hepburn is a brilliant Harley Street hypnotherapist who could unlock the door in your mind that craves that cocoa crack. Or try All Addictions Anonymous, sort of like the AA of weird addictions. Perhaps the supportive atmosphere could help you think twice about picking up the Galaxy.

Peaches loves...

FLIP CAMS I'm in Cannes and my best friend Fifi and I have discovered a world of fun harassing my agent and filming it on my flip cam.

PAULE KA I love the clean lines and use of transparent sheers. I wore a Paule Ka dress to the Chopard party in Cannes and got nothing but compliments all night.

RED LIPSTICK I've rediscovered it, and fallen in love all over again. I like a smooth, old-fashioned matt shade like MAC's Ruby Woo or Heatwave by NARS.

Can Peaches help? e-mail Peaches your problem on: askpeaches@standard.co.uk

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