Londoner's Diary: A big return from British boomerangs

Man with a business plan: Sajid Javid
Dan Kitwood / Getty Images
11 November 2015

How can Britain improve its relationship with an Australia sliding towards Republicanism? One option is to send Prince Charles and Camilla to spend six days there, of course. But while he’s out there our own Business Secretary in London has suggested they need us for one of their staples: the boomerang.

Giving a speech on the need for greater exports for middle-sized British businesses, at a conference yesterday, Sajid Javid boasted: “We are selling wine to France and boomerangs to Australia. The world wants what we are selling”. Never mind what our Gallic neighbours may make of that bold statement — what about boomerangs? It turns out that the Business Secretary’s statement to

the conference organised by the Daily Telegraph was wholly correct: the world’s largest manufacturers of boomerangs is, amusingly, based in Gresham Way, Wimbledon. It also sells its very own brand of returning boomerangs to ... Australia.

David Strang, who launched the company 15 years ago, hadn’t heard of the Javid namecheck (“that’s great news!”, he told The Londoner when we called). He grew up in Australia, moved to the UK, where he created Wicked Vision, and started out by importing boomerangs from Australia to sell here. “Because the weather isn’t great here, I wanted to create an indoor boomerang, so we developed and manufactured an indoor boomerang ...” And the Aussies have been keen customers.

The Department for Business, Innovation and Skills stood by its man this morning. The speech was all about “building relationships between the two countries.” Am sure the Aussies see it that way too.

***

“Hands up who thinks they are fundamentally happy,” said Anthony Seldon, David Cameron’s biographer, at last night’s RSA launch of Rachel Kelly’s new book Walking on Sunshine. “If you are happy you are Gordon Brown, as Chancellor under Blair,” he said. “This is the time you should reflect on that, investing for the dicky days that will come in the months and years ahead.” Surely the first time Gordon Brown has been used as an analogy for happiness?

Ted Heath’s drone attack on Helmut

Another blow to the economy. Former German Chancellor Helmut Schmidt died yesterday, and among those mourning his passing will be tobacconist Dunhill and Jermyn Street shirtmaker Turnbull & Asser. Schmidt was an avid fan of the English brands.

The late British diplomat Nicholas Henderson also recalled a meeting between Schmidt, then minister for finance, and Prime Minister Edward Heath in 1973. Schmidt turned up late to dinner with no apology, then “chain smoked throughout the evening, alternating between pipes and cigarettes”. These being the only things keeping Schmidt conscious, apparently: with Heath holding forth over after-dinner brandy, “Schmidt, the chain apparently broken, went to sleep”.

Slaves to the sahimi rhythm

Transvestite pole dancers, disturbing circus monkeys and Grace Jones, pictured above — all 38 floors up in London’s stratosphere. And did we mention the unlimited sushi? Not bad for a Tuesday night.

But we wouldn’t expect anything less from Sushisamba’s third birthday party. A sashimi-loving scrum of guests including chef Gizzi Erskine, left, Klaxons’ Jamie Reynolds, TV presenter Billie JD Porter, right, and designer Henry Holland were whisked up to the Salesforce Tower restaurant, where everyone was torn between taking selfies with the London skyline, getting their fill of

Old Fashioneds and tempura prawns, and shoving to the front of the stage where Jones performed, 10 minutes after her declared start time. Even divas aren’t late if sashimi is on offer.

***

The Londoner donned a trenchcoat last night and headed to Burberry’s Regent Street store for the Bafta Breakthrough Brits 2015. Young stars including Imitation Game actor Alex Lawther and playwright Laura Wade were among those honoured, but top marks to one winner, who shall remain nameless, who showed up in a £40 Primark suit in the hope that Burberry chief executive Christopher Bailey would take pity and offer him a designer suit. Now that’s good old-fashioned British initiative.

A toast to Churchill, one of our own

Former Londoner's Diary Editor Winston Churchill
Central Press / Getty

Once a Londoner, always a Londoner. These hallowed pages turn 100 next year, and one of our esteemed former editors — some old fellow called Winston Churchill, who covered for his son Randolph for a week or two in 1938 while the young chap went on holiday — was toasted at the launch of Churchill: The Life, a pictorial study by Max Arthur.

As the author explained at the event at Hatchards in Piccadilly, the wartime PM set the template for many of The Londoner’s modern traits. We share a love of afternoon naps, a large alcohol budget and a tendency to follow VIPs around. “It is a pleasure to travel with Sir Winston,” Arthur read from a letter from Maria Callas. “He removes from me some of the burden of my popularity.” Ditto.

Get your ginger pigs here

Twitter is a marketplace for opinions and now it is also a marketplace for pigs. Ben Goldsmith, Zac’s younger financier brother who promotes environmental investment, put out an unusual request this week. “If you live anywhere west and might be up for having some little Tamworth piglets please let me know,” he tweeted.

The Londoner was straight on the phone. “They’re the oldest and most traditional breed,” he chuckled. “I’m very happy to have them in my woods but I also want to encourage more people to breed them.”

Goldsmith has had the pigs on his land in Somerset for some time and takes care of them when in the country with his foodie wife Jemima Jones. He advised that The Londoner’s schedule, however, would not be conducive to rearing. Pearls before swine.

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