BBC staff left baffled by self-service canteen tills

The new ‘cybertills’ were closed down within a few days
The
Scott Bryan Twitter
Robbie Griffiths22 February 2023

Satire came to life at the BBC last week as a new set of strangely named self-service tills in the canteen had to be closed after staff couldn’t work out how to use them.

The tills, reassuringly called “Systopia”, were introduced in the food hall, and were meant to allow people to self-declare what they were buying without the need for staff. But they were quickly closed down, as this picture shows.

Our spy on their lunch break says: “They’ve had to put canteen staff on them now because people weren’t using them properly.” One user of the “cybertills” reported ordering 11 rounds of chips, while another almost bought seven Coke Zeros. Journalist Scott Bryan tweeted some pictures of the system.

There is anger at the Beeb over deep cuts and the scandal around chair Richard Sharp. With no tills, staff could get hangry too.

Dahl history lives in Cairo

Roald Dahl’s books, including The Twits and The Witches, are being edited.
Getty Images

Many are upset at news that Roald Dahl’s classic books have been rewritten to suit modern tastes by “sensitivity readers”. Dahl’s family have not commented but his grandson Ned Donovan was in Cairo this week at a hotel where the writer and former soldier-spy drank in the Second World War. “Amazing to find somewhere still standing where he spent time,” he said. A coded message?

Slava’s toast to Boris

Slava Vakarchuk, one of Ukraine’s best known musicians, was at Canada House last night to celebrate his home country, at an event organised by charity Crown Agents International Development. He told royalty and MPs tales from the front line, where he had been days before. Slava was sad Boris Johnson didn’t come, as “he’s probably more popular than me in Ukraine”. Graham Brady, chair of the 1922 committee which helped Johnson’s exit, watched on.

Zeta-Jones on the Circle Line

Hollywood royalty turned up on the Circle line this week as Welsh A-lister Catherine Zeta-Jones posted a video from a recent journey. “When you’re the only one on the Tube and you’re very happy” she said. Zeta-Jones and husband Michael Douglas were in town promoting his new film and for the Baftas. Who would have guessed she had an Oyster card?

Hockney’s latest show

Londoner’s Diary 22nd Feb 23

"David Hockney: Bigger & Closer (not smaller & further away)" Gala Opening
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David Hockney was in King’s Cross last night to open his new immersive art show at new venue Lightroom. Claudia Winkleman and Graham Norton went too. At the Just Eat Restaurant Awards at The Londoner Hotel, Gok Wan and Andi Oliver puckered up, while Fred Sirieix of First Dates told us a takeaway can be just as romantic as a restaurant meal. Not everyone agrees.

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