Sketch: Finally after some panto squirming, a truthful answer from Boris Johnson

 
Speech: Boris Johnson (Picture: Glenn Copus)
WEST END FINAL

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For a man applying for a new job, Boris looked hopelessly crumpled and somewhat sweaty.

The blond thatch was sprouting in all directions and his tie was the colour of something scraped off the sink. A few moments before he was due on stage, a smart female aide placed a dishevelled looking document on the lectern.

This was the speech we had come to hear.

Actually, that’s not true: Only a few euro-obsessives were there for the speech.

We had trooped to the uber-chic Bloomberg HQ for the Q&A afterwards when Boris would inevitably be asked about his Westminster ambitions.

Nobody had been tipped off that he would, for a change, give a straightforward and truthful answer.

It was more the astrology of a plum seat suddenly becoming vacant in west London ahead of a big speech timed for maximum effect in the summer holiday.

“In all probability I will try to find somewhere to stand in 2015,” he finally admitted after a theatrical pause and some pantomime squirming.

So it is now certain that Boris Johnson will be back at the Commons in May 2015. But what will he do at Westminster?

Nobody thinks he will be a quiet, obedient backbencher.

Today’s firecracker agenda on Europe proves that.

But excitable talk of him challenging David Cameron within months is fanciful.

Most of the 2010 intake of rising Tory MPs, let alone the 2015 intake, don’t know him well enough.

So his first job is to get to know people, make allies, and persuade those who are confused by his media persona that he is genuine.

His job prospects, I have learned, are very good.

A few months back, this newspaper revealed he was pitching for a role as the Government’s infrastructure minister. “I can imagine Boris doing that,” muses a very prominent Tory.

So the red carpet is being shampooed.

The blond mane may have to wait a little longer.

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