So you've cast your vote, yes? You've done your duty as a citizen — and quite right too, what with ancestors having fought, died, and in some cases been stampeded under the feet of horses to secure the franchise. Good on you: you've done it. So, enough.
Now you're entitled to wait serenely for the result without hearing another damn word about the election. Yet you know that for the next 24 hours, everywhere you look there will be overexcited, adenoidal political pointyheads working themselves up into precisely the sort of frenzy that, in London Zoo, causes red-faced mothers to hurry their toddlers away from the chimp enclosure.
So here's how to escape. First and best plan is to get underground. The Churchill War Rooms — wartime bunker of the only previous British politician to have approached the popularity of Nick Clegg — are open from 9.30am to 6pm.
They say it should take 90 minutes to do the tour, but there's nothing in the constitution to say they can throw you out if you choose to linger, foetally curled and pretending you have shell-shock. Added bonus: scant if any mobile phone reception.
Otherwise, flee to the parks and let green once more mean chlorophyll, rather than bogus election promises. A calming stroll round Pen Ponds in Richmond Park puts you physically as far from concrete as London allows. Other good bets are ambling round Kew's hothouses, or getting lost in the maze at Hampton Court.
