New therapy has given us hope after losing Milly, Dowler family say

Milly Dowler pictured with Gemma and her mother
Rashid Razaq4 July 2017

The mother and sister of murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler said they finally have hope for the future after undergoing therapy often used for war veterans.

Milly was 13 when she was abducted and murdered by Levi Bellfield in her home town of Walton-on-Thames, Surrey, in 2002. He was not convicted until 2011.

The schoolgirl’s mother Sally and sister Gemma told how at their lowest point during the Old Bailey trial they considered a joint suicide pact if Bellfield was found not guilty.

But the pair said they decided to seek help and get better for each other, so agreed to Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) treatment.

The NHS says EMDR is a relatively new treatment which has been found to reduce the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It has been used to help military personnel change the negative way they think about a traumatic experience.

In this new book, My Sister Milly, Gemma Dowler tells the full story for the first time

Speaking on Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour today, Sally said: “I was so desperate I would have said yes to anything. I thought it was electric shock treatment.

“When you’re traumatised it’s like a grenade going off in your mind, everything sprays out and you can’t make sense of it.”

Gemma, 31, who has written a book called My Sister Milly, said: “It’s the first time I’ve ever felt I’ve really had a chance and a future. I feel safe in my house. I can sleep in my house alone. At one time I thought I would be in my mum’s bed for the rest of my life.

“To be independent, and have this life, and have Milly with me — but for the really good stuff like for parties and celebrations with our family friends and to see her schoolfriends.

Gemma is now 31
PR HANDOUT-Neil Reading PR

“I never thought I’d be able to be in a room because it was so painful. Now I feel I radiate some of her light ... and now I really want to help children that have suffered from trauma or bereavement so I would like to retrain and become a therapist for children.”

Sally added: “When I first started getting treatment I could just not see a future and I worried about Gemma. Now we have come so far forward and we have had such a strong team that have looked after us and that has really meant something.

“With regard to my future I just want to be a recluse and potter around in my garden, swim in my local pool and visit nice wild wildernesses.”

To listen to the interview in full visit bbc.co.uk/womanshour

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