Hitting the sea - near Windsor?
Ever since I watched the documentary of Ellen McCarthy's battle against the elements I've been curious: can I do this nautical business competently? Can it be that tough? Clearly, sailing around the world on your own is a huge achievement, but as a pastime I (ignorantly) assumed that sailing would be pleasantly relaxing. Please bear in mind before I tell my tale that I'd never been sailing or even near a sailboat before.
Queen Mother Reservoir is where you will find Datchet Watersports, a tuition centre for various aquatic activities. It's an impressively large reservoir, with Windsor Castle as the backdrop. The guys here are particularly friendly and helpful, and seemed well-equipped to deal with a novice like me. With the wind blowing through my hair and skipper Steve (below, right) taking control of the rudder, we glided across the water with magnificent skill and speed towards the distant sunset, a perfect team... OK, OK, I can hear your scoffing. Sadly, things aren't that simple for cretin numero uno. Having tripped over the ropes 50 million times and nearly knocked myself unconscious on the sail, I was eventually entrusted with the simplest of tasks - the jib (the smaller of the two sails). I had just about mastered the art of this serious and complicated role when Steve suggested that I had a go at turning the boat. Silly, silly man: he learnt his lesson the hard way (they all do). In one swift, slick move, the boat capsized and we became shark fodder - well, not exactly, but it was a spectacular manoeuvre that would've made even the Cow Of All Cowes cringe.
I didn't quite get the hang of it all, but I loved it. I reckon all I need is a few more hours, then beware all you posses on the Isle Of Wight with your poxy striped T-shirts. I am on a mission to destroy your cliques and your clich?s (and probably your boats, too). Oh, and by the way Ellen - I bow down and kiss the waves you sail. How the hell did you do it?
Datchet Watersports run various courses near Windsor. For information call 01753 683 990 or visit www.datchetwatersports.co.uk
