The best thing about the opening match of a World Cup is that, in order for it to kick off, the opening ceremony must cease.
I hate opening ceremonies. I pretended to like the one at the London Olympics, for fear of being lynched, but really, although the Queen’s sketch with Daniel Craig was fun and the parachute gag worked, the rest seemed almost as tooth-tickling a waste of money as we are to witness in Sao Paulo around 7.15pm tonight.
Sepp Blatter, whom many wouldn’t mind seeing hurtle from the sky but without a parachute, replied to criticism of the draw ceremony in December — it cost about £8million and among those moved to join the ranks of dissenters was Louis van Gaal — by calling it “an integral part of the big show that is the World Cup”.
So expect the FIFA president to beam beatifically down on this evening’s celebration of profligacy, which will “pay tribute to the treasures of Brazil” (nature, people and football, apparently) and climax with Pitbull, Claudia Leitte and Jennifer Lopez performing the official song We Are One.
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And all the while I’ll be wondering if someone might just confirm for us that Oscar rather than Willian is to be given the main playmaking role for Brazil against Croatia.
Without wishing to alarm FIFA or the Brazilian authorities, an opening-night shock would hardly lack precedent. In 1990 holders Argentina were beaten by Cameroon and 2002 featured the beginning of the end of France’s reign when they were overcome by Senegal in Korea, where El Hadji Diouf was so good Liverpool were happy to pay £10million for him.
As for Patrick Vieira, he probably wished he had chosen to play for the land of his birth rather than that of his upbringing. France never recovered. They finished bottom of their group and were eliminated. Senegal fared better. But they had togetherness. Just like Croatia now.
