Sporting Miscellanies

The rollercoaster life of Sol Campbell takes a timely upward lurch. Things had looked bleak for Sol since his departure from Notts County tantalisingly short of earning his gold watch, but a more glittering prize than a football career has landed in his lap by way of a Sunday Times feature about his delectably tasteful Chelsea home.

No surprise there. Sol's previous girlfriend was Kelly Hoppen, for whom the incumbent Fiona Barratt, also an interior designer, used to work.

This ingenue's usurpation of a superstar like Kelly may remind movie buffs of Anne Baxter in All About Eve. Fiona is coy about Ms Hoppen, but less so about her and Sol's life together.

"We sometimes drive around London together looking for buildings to develop," she says, and reading this you begin to sense how Nottingham came so swiftly to lose its allure.

Brave Willie shines in company of a true star

Tremendous to see Willie Carson turning out for the BBC's Arc de Triomphe coverage yesterday, so soon after confiding his guilt over the "love child" (a 47-year-old from Ripon) he has never met to readers of the Daily Telegraph.

It can't have been easy facing the world after that, but this universally adored racing figure managed it with elan. If you missed Sea The Stars winning the Arc from an apparently hopeless position, by the way, you missed the most astonishing turn of foot since Dancing Brave won the race in 1986, and from what may well be the greatest race horse in history.

No doubt Sea The Stars will soon be off to stud. We wish him luck with that, and refrain from any cheap reproduction/parenting gags at little Willie's expense.

Dennis better suited to highlights show

Showing similar fortitude, meanwhile, was that other well loved sporting Munchkin Dennis Wise. He popped up on Sky Sports yesterday to give his thoughts on Chelsea v Liverpool, which showed gumption so soon after the facts behind Kevin Keegan's lucrative flounce out of Newcastle became public.

As director of football, Dennis ordered Keegan to acquiesce in the purchase of Ignacio Gonzalez to keep a couple of South American agents sweet. Extending the scouting principle he operated then, Sky Sports might do better in future to ask him to comment on games after watching very brief highlights on YouTube.

Alternatively, they might consider not using him at all. A tough call, yes, but whoever said Murdoch executives were paid big money to take the easy ones?

Lineker's punchline is another real knockout

Here is the latest in our regular feature, Gary Lineker's Side-Splitting Pun of the Week.

Following on from his "Four Keane Hell For Burnley," Gary was at it again after Manchester United's late equaliser, which was deflected into his own net in the last moments of Saturday's game by Sunderland's Anton Ferdinand. "So the champions do it in injury time yet again — as Anton decks 'em," quipped the Roy Barraclough to Match of the Day colleague Mark Lawrenson's Les Dawson.

Matron, matron, the ribcage repair kit, if you please. There's not a moment to lose.