Sporting Miscellanies
If Chelsea are destined to fail to steal Kaka from Real Madrid, as now seems certain, the silver lining will far outweigh the cloud.
Several years ago, chief executive Peter Kenyon assured us that the club would break even in 2010, and smashing the world transfer fee record so close to that deadline would have threatened that noble ambition. Now there are those who have questioned Mr K's sincerity, wondering whether this is the sort of meaningless promise Gordon Brown used to make as Chancellor. What nonsense.
Mr Kenyon is a man of his word — you will recall his convincing denials of tapping up Rio Ferdinand in April 2005, after being spotted dining with him in just the two London restaurants on the same night — who would rather resign than betray a solemn financial oath. I will be checking when Chelsea plan to announce the balancing of the books, and will relay the good news soon.
We need something to spice up the Sky boys
Good to learn that Dermot Reeve is returning to the commentary box for the BBC's Twenty20 coverage.
Mr Reeve hasn't been seen or heard much since he confessed to covering a Test against New Zealand while high on cocaine five years ago. It is not this column's way to condone drugs, of course, but is there any chance of some stimulant being slipped into the Sky team's Ashes water jug every now and then this summer, just to make David Gower and the rest sound vaguely alive? Nothing too fancy or Class A. Just the odd Pro Plus.
More letterman show than Eurosport tennis
As for Eurosport tennis dullard David Mercer, he is beyond chemical assistance. While commentating on Wednesday, the former solicitor pointed out that, what with a Svetlana, a Safina, a Slovak and Sam Stosur in the women's semis, and a Swiss, a Swede and two South Americans in the men's, this was the peachiest French Open ever for the letter S. Co-commentator Frew McMillan paused to consider this audition for Sesame Street. "You'll find S in there somewhere, won't you?" he replied once the initial shock subsided. "And you talk plenty of it as well."
